Wednesday Day 24 Update New Years Eve

I know that the updates are not coming as often now but there is not as much happening. For two weeks Zane made progress by leaps and bounds, at least by NICU standards. Zane's progress has slowed down some but he continues to make strides, today they have upped his feedings to 70cc 3 parts mothers milk and one part formula. He is doing well and is much more alert. You can watch his eyes explore the world around him. He likes to be held and he enjoys a pacifier much more than Mignon ever did.

Laurie and I are still under the weather with the sinus problems but we are getting better. Our time with Zane has been limited because we don't want to give him what we have and we are also trying to rest and get better. We are expecting visitors from Fort Davis Friday and from Junction on Saturday. We hope that everone has a wonderful new year!

Monday Day 22 Update

Zane is still doing well; they had to add a tube that goes through his nose to his stomach. He is falling asleep before he finishes his feedings so they use this tube to supplement what he his taking from the bottle. He is still on the mix of formula and mothers milk. The Dr. told me yesterday that because Zane was such a sick baby he does not have a lot of stamina built up and that is why he doesn't make it all the way through his feedings. This morning he did take the full 55cc bottle.

Laurie and I have both developed a sinus infection so neither one of us are feeling very well today. We can still visit Zane as long as we are not running a fever but we have to wear masks. We will not be comming home this week but maybe next week.

Zane continues to get stronger every day and he is starting to show some personality. He has lots of facial expressions his hair is the same color as mine, his eyes are a very dark blue and he is up over 7lbs.

Saturday Day 20 getting closer.

We’ve had another good day in the NICU. Tonight Zane Ethan got his IV line taken out, which means he will only be receiving nutrition through his bottle feedings. This also means that more than likely, he will ‘graduate’ from the area of the NICU we’ve been in and will moved into Bay #5. This is his second day in a regular nursery bed instead of the big ICU type of bed with the heaters, respiratory hook-ups and the like. We are really making strides!

This morning Laurie’s parents, niece, nephew, grandmother and Mignon all left to head back to north Texas. It was a little traumatic for all of us. Mignon told us over and over the last few days “I just want to go home Momma…can we go home Daddy?” We did have a good visit with all of them and Mignon loved how Santa ended up visiting her three different times in three different places! Laurie’s grandmother said over-all Mignon has been a real trooper through everything, staying happy and being really good for her Grommy and DanDan.

The comforting aspect is that it appears we will not have to be here as long as we first thought. Zane is up to 50cc per feeding with a mix of the special formula and Momma’s milk. As soon as he gets up to the full 50 cc of just Momma’s milk and has a day or two to work on nursing, we will be released! Right now, we are thinking that we may stay here a couple of days after he is released just to get settled in and make sure we are ALL ready for the journey home and in case they schedule any follow ups for Zane with any of his doctors. We will just wait and see how these next days go and should know more by the end of the week. This version of waiting is not nearly so hard since we get to hold our little guy, feed him, change diapers and still get to return to the apartment and get a full night’s sleep! We are trying to take advantage of this as long as we have it and get rested up for when we come home.

Friday Day 19 Looking Good

As you can see Zane no longer has the nasal cannula and his face has really cleared up. This morning I was giving him his bottle I realized it was gone. He is doing well with his feedings and is doing fine with Laurie's milk. So that means that Zane is processing the fats just fine. So we will probably never know what caused the hydrops. He gets better every day. He is receiving 40cc of food at each feeding, still half formula and half mother's milk. When he is receiving 45cc of just mother's milk it will be time to come home. We are getting close and we are in awe of how far we have come so quickly. I am hoping to be home by January 8th but we will have to wait and see.

Laurie's parents will be leaving tomorrow with Mignon and I think that will be hard on all of us. She did not want us to leave to go see Zane tonight, I think she was afraid that we wouldn't come back. There is a park with a playground a block from the apartment and we have had lots of fun there. I look forward to us all being home in Junction.

Merry Christmas!

We all had a big Christmas here in Austin, but Mignon really wants to go home. We told her that Zane would be better soon and then we would all be home together. He continues to do well with his feedings and today they will add some of Laurie's milk to the formula. If he does well with that he will be perfect. Hard to believe how far he has come in two weeks. We are very grateful for the prayers of the faithful.

Tuesday Day 16 More Small Steps

Today Zane is doing great. This morning Laurie was able to feed Zane from a bottle. He has been using a pacifier so he seemed to get the hang of feeding from a bottle pretty quickly. Laurie said his eyes got big when he got the formula. This evening when we were there he sucked it right down and wanted more.The Dr. told us that they will gradually increase the amount of his feedings and in a couple of days they will mix in Laurie's milk with the formula. If he tolerates that they will continue until he is just getting milk.

We put up a Christmas tree in the apartment today, and Santa's elf is busily assembling presents for Mignon. The box says "some assembly required" 60 pieces. I am glad that the elf is feeling better. :) Merry Christmas everyone I will probably not post again until Friday after Mignon leaves.

Remember that the greatest gift that we have ever received is the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ.

Monday Day 15

Out of the woods!

I flew to Junction today to pick up some things that we still needed. Mostly Christmas presents for Mignon and Laurie’s family who will be here with us Wednesday through Friday. I did get some more clothes for Laurie as she continues to shrink. After I got back to Austin I stopped at the apartment to drop stuff off and Laurie was taking a nap so I went to the hospital to visit Zane.

While I was there one of his doctors saw me and came to visit with me about his progress. The Dr. was telling me that things were progressing well and that his genetic tests had all come back fine. Then he told me that one problem that might have caused the fluid buildup in his chest is an inability to process fat. I asked him if that was treatable and he said that it was. I grinned and asked him the big question, “So, are we out of the woods?” his response was, “yes, way out of the woods”. Through tears of joy I thanked him for telling me.

While I was talking with him Zane became agitated and frustrated and looked like he was trying to pull out his cpap tubes. The Dr. asked the nurse if he had been getting frustrated with the tubes and she said yes so the Dr. just told her to go ahead and take them out. So now he has the normal nasal cannula.

If the problem is an inability to process fats we will deal with that but otherwise he is just getting better and we will probably never know what caused the fluid to develop. Laurie and I say great we don’t have to know what caused it, all we want is our little man home with us.

Earlier today while I was traveling Laurie was at the hospital and they replaced his IVs with a central line in his wrist. So now it is much easier to hold him. He really calms down we he is in our arms. So now we will be able to hold him much more.

Tonight we went back together and Zane had done well with his food and was happy to see us. We saw him smile for the first time, he had the hiccups and even giggled. It has been a good Day!

God is good!

Sunday Day 14

We started our day with morning worship in Georgetown. We spent a year and a half on staff while we were in seminary. We got to see some old friends and hear some exceptional preaching. This afternoon we were back at the hospital and when we arrived we saw that Zane was sleeping on his belly. They have taken him off of his pain medicine and continued to feed him. The nurse told us that he had a couple of dirty diapers today. That is a good sign that he is tolerating the formula and soon they will try to get him back on mothers milk. We took turns holding him again and he just snuggled right in and went to sleep. Maybe tomorrow he will come off of the cpap and get it out of his nose; you can tell that it aggravates him.

Saturday Bath

With his chest tubes out Zane's nurse was able to give him a good scrubbing tonight. After a bath and diaper change mom was able to hold him. It was a wonderful experience that brought tears to our eyes. Mom had to go pump so dad got to hold him next. I know that neither one of wanted to let him go but we had to. Can't wait for tomorrow. I believe that we are going to go worship and praise God tomorrow with our friends in Georgetown.

Bath Time

Saturday Morning Good News!!!

We are at the hospital and using their wifi connection. After another chest x-ray at 6:00am they decided to go ahead and remove Zane's chest tubes. We are very excited and encouraged. He is still has the cpap in his nose but the nurse told us that this afternoon we would probably get to hold him.

Please continue to keep Zane in your prayers especially that the fluid will not return and that he will be able to tolerate mother's milk.

No chest tubes!!!

Friday Day 12 Update

What a good day. We moved into the apartment this morning and it’s nice, three bedrooms and nicely furnished. After we moved in we spent the morning in the NICU with Zane.

Today they clamped his chest tubes to see if the fluid would continue to build around his lungs. At 6:00pm they did a chest x-ray and the fluid had not returned so tonight they will remove his chest tubes. This means that tomorrow that we might get to hold him. Laurie and I are very excited as you can imagine.

We spoke with one of his doctors this evening who told us that his recovery is remarkable. Zane is doing better than any of the team expected. We do not have internet access at the apartment yet but when we do I will post some more pictures.

God is good!

One Week Update

Zane Ethan Barker is one week old today. In some ways it seems that we have been here forever and in others it is hard to believe that we have been here 11 days. Zane is doing well the drainage has slowed down quite a bit and his lungs continue to do very well.

We have been very excited by the strides that he has already made but we are reaching a point where things are going to slow down. The Dr. today said that it may take several weeks for his body to get to where he can process milk from Laurie, they tried giving him some Monday evening but he could not digest it. So it looks like for now he will continue to get his nutrition from the IV.

Santa and Mrs. Clause visited the NICU today and Zane had his picture taken with them. The apartment will be ready for us this afternoon and I will move a few things today and we will move in tomorrow.

Midweek Devotion "We are wonderfully made!"

Psalm 139:13-17 (ESV)
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
[14] I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
[15] My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
[16] Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there were none of them.
[17] How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

Looking at our new son Zane has me thinking a lot about how wonderfully we are made. This scripture has been an encouragement for me during the past week. Looking at Zane's fingers, toes, his eyes and nose I have reflected on God's great power and wisdom. All of our parts work together to make us something special. Several people have mentioned how much he looks like me; but he isn't a carbon copy he is unique and special in his own way.

You are unique. You are special. There has never been throughout time anyone exactly like you and there never will be. Turn your palms up and look at them. If you look closely, you will see tiny swirling lines on your fingers - finger prints. No one has those exactly like you do. God made you that way. You are one of a kind in many ways.

Have you ever heard that saying, “What a wonderful world it would be, if everyone was like me”? Well, don’t think that would be wonderful at all! We need to be different. We need diversity. It enriches us. If you have not found your uniqueness already, you will. Celebrate it. Let the world see it, hear it. For you have contributions to make that only you can give.

You are gifted. God has created you with untold talents and abilities. Some of these gifts you already know. Others you will be discovering and developing all your life. Together we make up the body of Christ here on earth. Each of us just like a body part has a specific role to play in the functioning of the body. We are each very important to God and one another.

Wednesday Evening Update 12/17

We had a good afternoon the visits made our day. Paul and Debbie went with us to visit Zane. He was pretty restless they are lowering his pain medicine and he was showing some discomfort so the nurse had to give him a little extra.

We have now met 5 of the 7 neonatologists who are caring for Zane. They all have different personalities but they all inspire confidence and he is in good hands.

Wednesday Afternoon Update

We spent the better part of the morning at the hospital with Zane. He is doing very well off of the ventilator and has the arterial line out of his wrist. The nurse let me change his diaper and said I was a pro. Don't tell Laurie! He looks good and was going to town on his pacifier and likes to have his hand held; it seems to calm him. At noon we went to Luby's for lunch and then to Walmart for some clothing for Laurie. Laurie is taking a nap now.

This afternoon we are expecting visitors, a minister from Westminster Presbyterian here in Austin and then Kate and Clayton from Mo-Ranch and then Paul and Debbie will be here from Junction. So it will be a pretty busy afternoon. We will go back to the hospital about 4 and I will post another update this evening.

Tuesday Evening Update Good News

Well a lot has happened today. Zane is off of the ventilator and the dopamine drip. He now has a cpap that sends air through his nose but his lungs are doing well. His blood pressure is even better off of the dopamine. So he is doing better in those two areas. The drainage continues from both chest tubes so no real progress there. He is under a sun lamp because he has developed jaundice but that is not unusual. So we are encouraged because he is making progress but the Dr. still is concerned about the drainage.

After we visited Zane I wheeled Laurie over to the Labor and Delivery area and visited some of the wonderful nurses that cared for Laurie last week. Throughout our stay at St. David’s these ladies have continued to check on Laurie when they were off duty and after Zane was born they have visited him in the NICU. It is very obvious that they truly care about the people in their charge. God was guiding us when Laurie was admitted to St. David’s Hospital.

We are still in our room on the seminary campus. I was told today that the apartment would be available for us on Thursday but the cable and internet won’t be hooked up until Saturday. It is a fully furnished apartment with linens and silverware etc., so we shouldn’t need much from home.

Laurie talked to her mom a little while ago and Mignon is doing well and settling into a routine. She misses us but is going to sleep just fine and she is eating well. I miss her to and I am looking forward to her coming for Christmas.

As Promised Ruby Slippers

Tuesday Update

There is not a lot of new information to post today. Zane is continuing to drain fluid from the chest tubes but he should be done with the ventilator today. Today was Laurie's first day out of the hospital. We spent the morning with Zane holding his hand and talking to him and a good friend from Junction came to visit.

We are going to rest this afternoon and let Laurie keep her feet up so that maybe some of the swelling will go down. We will go back to visit Zane this evening and I will post some more pictures after we get back. If I can I will get a picture of Laurie's fuzzy red slippers; they are the only shoes that she can wear with her swollen feet.

Monday Evening Update

It has been a long day. Zane continues to do well. The drainage has slowed down again and they switched him to a different ventilator that allows him to breathe over it. Originally they had it set on 40 breaths per minute and he was breathing 45 to 65 breaths and doing well. They have lowered the BPM and may take him off the ventilator completely tonight or tomorrow.

Laurie was released from the Hospital and we arrived at our room at the seminary about 5:30. I went to Walgreens to get her prescription filled and buy a few other things and it took until about 7:15. We are having Pizza Hut for supper and I plan on being in bed early.

We are both pretty tired and Laurie is still experiencing some pain but she will get better rest out of the hospital. Please feel free to call us but we will not answer if we are with Zane or a Dr.; please leave us a message, your calls are important to us and we would love to hear from you.

Monday Morning Update More Drainage

Well we got a little too excited yesterday when we didn't see any drainage. When I got to the NICU this morning Zane had begun to drain again during the night. This means that he is still producing fluid and the chest tubes can't be removed until the Dr.s are sure that he has quit draining.

He looks wonderful and woke up while I was there. He held my finger while I gave him a pacifier. They say that his development is good he moves the way that he should. Laurie gets released today from the hospital and we are looking forward to that.

One of our friends who had a child spend time in the NICU told us to expect ups and downs. This isn't a big down but we are anxious for him to get past this particular hurdle.

Sunday Evening Update

Zane Ethan had a GREAT day.

We continued to feel so blessed by all the love and support we are receiving. We also feel very blessed by the progress of our little miracle, Zane Ethan. I will give you a quick rundown of the last few days.

Zane is really doing well. When we went to see him this afternoon, there was very little fluid in his drainage holder on both sides. This means h is producing that much less. His weight is now down to 7 lbs 5oz, but their calculations of his weight if all fluid was gone is about 6.6 lbs. His legs and arms are looking “skinny” and his facial features are really showing. We can see his brow and a little indentation in his temple area. Though he has still not been really scrubbed clean since birth, what we thought was dark hair is really very blond.

We went back a few hours later and there had been absolutely no output from his chest tubes. He is trying breathe on his own and the doctors said they may try to wean him off of the ventilator in the next 2 or 3 days as well as possibly removing the chest tubes. When those things happen, then we will be able to start to hold him.

Another GREAT event when we went the second time was that he was awake. Jim got some pictures of him with his eyes open and they are a deep blue right now. They have cut back quite a bit on his sedation meds which means he will wake more often. He was making funny faces and blowing bubbles out of his mouth, even with the tubes in there. The nurse gave us a pacifier to try for the first time and he loved it. Zane went to town sucking and gumming so much that it wore him out and he was asleep before we left. We cannot tell you how exciting today has been.

Momma is doing better today. I have tried to walk more and my pain is a little better from the incision, however, there is new pain as I have starting pumping milk. The nurse thinks they will try Zane out with some of my milk in a day or so. Thus, I’m on a every 2 hour schedule to pump until they can ‘teach’ him how to eat and we can try nursing at his bedside.

Thank you again for all of your support and love and especially prayers. This season of Advent waiting has new meaning for us. Anticipation, excitement, hope and patience all have taken on new meanings as well. Please continue to pray for Zane, but also pray for all the other parents that are going through what we are. There are 60 beds in this NICU and almost everyone is filled right now. Zane’s new neighbor is so tiny, but seems like a fighter too.

Check out Flick’r for the latest pictures.

Grace and Peace,

Laurie

Sunday Morning Update

Zane Ethan continues to make improvement. The drainage continues to slow down and they are going to try to put him on a different kind of ventilator today which is a little ahead. The new ventilator will allow him to breathe over it and Zane will move toward breathing on his own.

We wish we could be in worship with our churches today; Harper is beginning now and Junction will have the children and youth leading worship. Our prayers are with them and we will be present in spirit.

Laurie and I are very encouraged today, we both had a good nights sleep and are looking forward to Laurie getting out of the Hospital tomorrow.

Saturday Morning Good News Update

Ethan had a very good night his fluid output decreased on both sides and the Dr. said that they will not give him as much fluid today. He looks so peaceful. I would love to pick him up and hold him but for now we will just have to be satisfied with holding his hand. God is good and I am remembering constantly that the Advent season is about waiting. We are waiting for the arrival of our LORD, but I don't think that Advent will ever be the same for me.

This whole experience has been a lesson in waiting upon the Lord for answers, strength and peace. We have been ministered to by so many and are in a position where we are the ones who need to be cared for. We continue to solicit your prayers as we wait and watch.

Friday Afternoon Update

There is not a lot new to tell. After Laurie rested from her shower she was able to see Zane for the first time since he was born. They had to replace the right chest tube today because of clotting but they said that was normal. The first big hurdle was Zane surviving the delivery now we have to take things hour by hour and day by day and pray that he continues to improve and grow stronger. We cherish each day and long to be able to hold him in our arms.

I have put more pictures on our flickr page, http://www.flickr.com/photos/mignonsdad/

Friday Morning Update

We had a good night, Laurie and I were able to get some sleep. Ethan has remained stable and the fluid is not draining as fast on the left side, the right side continues to drain quite a bit. They continue to give him fluids and blood.

They did an echo cardiogram yesterday and the cardiologist did not see any problems with his heart. We remain very optimistic.

Today is Laurie's birthday and she is feeling pretty good still sore. They took her off her IV just a little while ago and she has taken a shower, and that has helped her feel better as well.

Pictures of Zane Ethan Barker

Zane Ethan Has Arrived! God Is Good!

Zane was delivered around 10:00am 19 1/2 inches 8lbs 4oz. The team taking care of him said everything went as good as it possibly could have. He made it past the first big hurdle. Zane is not out of the woods yet but we are encouraged.

Laurie was able to hold him after they got him stabilized. He held my finger and he has a strong grip.

We are thankful for all the prayers and ask that you would continue to pray for Zane Ethan as he continues in NICU.

Wednesday Evening Update

Dear Friends,

We are once again at a crossroads with a big decision to make. We had another consultation from a different specialist who feels that because the baby has gotten worse, that that will be his continued pattern. He feels the best chance we have now is to get the baby out and let the NICU team do all they can. The prognosis is not good, the percentages are not great, but there is a chance and for that we have some hope.

All the doctors are faith-centered, the nurses are NOT contract nurses so they are here all the time, this is all they do and they work closely with all the doctors and patients. The nurses we have had that are not on today have been calling to check on us and tell us they are praying. We feel this is the best place we can be at this time and that we have been led here.

So, we think we have come to the decision that the baby will be delivered in the morning at 9:30 and we are feeling more and more peace toward this. As soon as he is delivered, there will be a team of 5-6 neonatal specialists who will jump in and take over. Laurie is in no danger aside from the usual possible complications that come with a C-section. The prayers we need are for Zane and the specialists when he gets out and for them to be able to find the source of the fluid. It will be touch and go for not only several hours, but possible several weeks.

We will do our best to keep you all updated. Hope this gives you some more specific areas to keep in prayers. We thank you for your time, your love and your support. We can feel it all and it is very comforting.

Grace and Peace and Love,

Jim and Laurie

Wednesday Morning Update

Paul flew me back to Austin this morning and I had a good nights sleep in Junction. It is amazing what a little sleep will do for your outlook on things.

Laurie has gone 24hrs without pain, which is good. However we are getting conflicting information from the OB and Perinatal specialist. So after we spoke together last night Laurie told the hospital people that we wanted a second opinion and we are waiting for that now.

Laurie has had lots of visits from friends here and is enjoying the emails from home.

Tuesday Evening Update

Today has been a pretty good day. Laurie has not needed the pain medication today and is feeling better. However now her legs are swelling so they have put the blow up stockings on her to reduce the swelling and keep her circulation going.

One of the church members flew to Austin today to pick me up and bring me back to Junction so that I could get some clothes and things. As we neared Junction a cold front with rain hit and we couldn't fly back to Austin. So I am home for tonight and will fly back to Austin in the morning.

Laurie has Austin friends staying with her so she is not alone. I am sorry not to be there with her but she is in good hands.

As of now Laurie will be in the hospital at least until Friday. One school of thought has her in the hospital until she has the baby. We have a room at the seminary and the apartment will be open for us Tuesday or Wednesday.

Tuesday Morning Update

About 11:30 last night they moved us into a regular room. It is pretty large and even has a bed/couch for me to sleep on. Laurie continues to experience some strong pain, but the are giving her medicine to help with it. We were both able to get some sleep.

The Dr. just came in and so far all of the tests have been negative. No kidney or gallbladder problems. So we will have consults with other Dr.s today to see if they can find the source of Laurie's pain.

Update on Laurie

It is about 9:30pm and I am writing this from St. David's Hospital in Austin. Laurie has been admitted because she has been experiencing some extreme pain today. At first they thought it might be a kidney stone but now they are checking her gallbladder. They have given her some medicine that has helped with the pain.

Today at the Perinatal specialist we found out that Ethan is sicker; he had more fluid around his lungs than he did a week ago. What Ethan has is nonimune fetal hydrops. It could be that last week what we saw was the beginning of the illness and it has not peaked yet so Ethan has not begun to get better yet.

The problem with the pain is that it was causing Laurie to have contractions. It is imperative that Laurie not go into labor so that Zane Ethan will have enough time to heal.

We have a new OB here in Austin that works here at St. Davids and is Presbyterian. He his very well respected and has a good bedside manner. This Dr. has been much more encouraging and believes in miracles.

Rev. Holly Hasstedt has been with us since we arrived at the hospital and it is very encouraging to have her with us. When Laurie gets out of the hospital Holly will take off work and stay with her so that I can go back to Junction and pack. Laurie packed a bag to come to Austin but I was planning on leaving her with Holly so I arrived without even a toothbrush. Holly was nice enough to buy me one and some toothpaste on her way to the hospital.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

Monday Update

Laurie and I are getting ready to head to Austin to see the specialist for another ultrasound. Last Tuesday we had one done that will act as a baseline for today's. Our spirits are up and we are both feeling very positive about the overall situation. That was not necessarily true last week.

We are so thankful for all of the prayers and encouragement that have come our way. Family members, the two church families, and lots of friends have lifted our spirits. We rest in loving arms of our God.

Isaiah 40:11 He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.

This was part of the lectionary this past Sunday and I felt it was a reminder for us. May God bless you all.

The Week In Review and a Prayer Request

Last week for Thanksgiving we went to Laurie’s parents to celebrate Thanksgiving. From there we traveled to Georgetown to watch the Junction High School football team compete in the state playoffs, they won! Over the weekend Laurie began to experience some pain so Monday morning we called our Dr. and she worked us in that afternoon. So we went to our OB in Fredericksburg and the Dr. discovered a problem with Ethan during the ultrasound on Monday. She sent us straight to Austin to see a specialist.

Tuesday morning at 8:00am we met with a specialist who deals with high risk pregnancies. As an aside we knew that Laurie was high risk because of her age but things have been going so well we really thought that we were past the dangerous part of the pregnancy. What the specialist saw was that Ethan has fluid around his organs, heart, lungs, kidneys, liver and stomach. The Dr. ruled out fetal anemia and genetic problems. If it had been caused by fetal anemia they could have done something about it. Sadly he is not anemic.

The Dr. was not sure what has caused this, maybe a virus. The worst part for us is that here is nothing that they can do for him at this point. The Dr. said that he is a sick baby and he will have to get better on his own. One of the problems is that with all the fluid if he is delivered now because of the fluid his lungs won't work. I am a little nervous about being so far from a facility where we can get adequate care. We have a couple of great congregations and they are urging to do whatever we need to do.

Yesterday we spoke with Laurie's Dr. in Fredericksburg. She is prescribing bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy. The Dr. has received the information from the specialist in Austin and more than likely, unless Zane Ethan heals on his own we will be delivering in Austin. The specialist in Austin will set Laurie up with an OB in Austin and Laurie will likely deliver at Children's Hospital, because of the unique needs that Ethan will have.

We go back to Austin Monday for another ultrasound and hope to see some improvement then. If not we will probably move to Austin for the rest of the pregnancy. I called a good friend at Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary yesterday and she was able to reserve a furnished apartment for us beginning December 15th. That is quite a comfort and it will give us some room to spread out and room for Mignon to play.

So for now Laurie is at home resting and I am continuing to do my thing at church I will be preaching Sunday. Mignon is staying in a pretty good routine and we are all trying not to worry. We are so thankful for all of the love and support that we are receiving from our families, our church families and our friends. It is truly wonderful to be surrounded by love!

Our prayer is that Laurie will be able to carry Zane Ethan to term, Jan. 22nd, and that God will heal him and that the fluid will dissipate. Please keep us in your prayers.

Midweek Devotion Advent

Advent 1 Weekly devotion

We have waited in silence on your loving-kindness, O God.
—Psalms 48:8

This week we entered the Advent season – a time of expectation, anticipation and above all a time of waiting. This is not an easy season to honor. Our economy and our culture push for more and more activity: more shopping, more decorating, more partying, more planning. This push leads to more of others things: more stress, more depression, more unmet expectations, more disappointment. The hustle and bustle, the frenetic pace keeps us from taking the time to consider what our heart truly desires, not just for Christmas, but for our whole life.

Sometimes the true desires of our hearts, the longings we yearn for are scary to us because they may call us out of known comfort and toward an unknown possibility. But we need to remember that those desires of our heart and longings we crave are gifts of God, blessings God is waiting to bestow upon us. They are gifts that cannot be quickly unwrapped and immediately utilized. Gifts of God’s grace are often discovered slowly, after much time spent listening and discerning God’s desire for us. Trust, courage, strength and a full reliance on God need to be developed through spending time with God. This time doesn’t need to have an agenda, formal prayers or lengthy readings because even these holy acts, when used to keep us talking and in control of the conversation, cause us to avoid having to hear God’s will. Yet, stillness and silence can bring not just a sense of rest to our minds and bodies, but these also allow the voice of God a space to break into our hearts and minds.

I recently took a continuing education on line from the Episcopal Seminary in Austin. The teacher was an Episcopal priest, author and poet named Mary C. Earle. Her writings and reflections center on spiritual direction, contemplative prayer, and Celtic and desert spirituality. She wrote an essay on Advent called “Waiting in Silence” that can be found on a Website called Explore Faith. Here is an excerpt:

Waiting in silence, creating space for steadfast love to grow within, may be the most essential practice of all. It is in many ways the spirit of Advent, that time of the Christian liturgical year when we practice the waiting of gestation and hoping, of trusting in new life not yet fully known.

Thomas Merton, Trappist monk and author, remarked that life is a perpetual Advent. He sensed that in that waiting, trust began to grow. Trust in God, trust in the Holy One who is beyond all that is created and is the source of all things, seen and unseen. Trusting and waiting allow the loving-kindness that is the essence of God’s own Life to grow in us, and to bear fruit that we never expected.

Grant me O God the capacity to wait in hope, to allow your own loving-kindness to grow in me, for the life of your world. Amen.

{http://www.explorefaith.org/miracles/earle.html}

I pray your Advent may be filled with times of waiting in silence so that not only may your mind and body be restored and refreshed, but that you may also receive and experience the gift of God’s grace that awaits your waiting.
Grace and Peace to you all,
Laurie

If you are interested in a more contemplative Advent calendar of short readings, check out the one at Explore Faith: http://www.explorefaith.org/advent