Wrestling with Love, Laurie's Sermon July 3, 2007

Wrestling with Love
Genesis 32:22-31; Matthew 14:13-21

As I said in the introduction to the OT passage, I have learned to look at the book of Genesis as a “Family Album”. This idea was first presented to me by a friend from seminary, David Gambrell who put the stories of this book to music as a senior project. We have several copies of his CD, which is wonderful. So, the idea of a “Family Album” is not my own, but one that has become very fundamental to my understanding.

Now, if you have never done so, I want to invite you to try to visualize all the people and events of the book of Genesis as the story of your immediate family. At first it may seem really satisfying to think of these handpicked, specially chosen men and women as our direct kin. Heck, they even carried on personal conversations with God directly speaking to them! But, read carefully friends. This isn’t a book published by humanity’s PR agent.

A quick look at our kinfolk… Is there anyone in our family known for lying to get out of trouble or to save their own skin? Didn’t Abraham and Isaac both do this when they said that Sarah and Rebekah were their sisters and not their wives? Do we have a gullible Esau or a crafty Jacob? Are there two sisters that are jealous of each other? Is there a mother that plays favorites between her children and lies and tricks her feeble husband? Is there a baby brother that is brash and prideful like Joseph, that always gets his way? Not exactly a group of folk in line for Citizens of the Year honors.

This leads me to our passage that we heard today concerning Jacob. My initial view had always been that Jacob deserved what he got at the Jabbok River. His whole life he had stolen and cheated and lied and then he ran away from the one to which he had done the most damage, his brother, in fear for his life. Twenty years later, God sends him back to his homeland (which just happens to be Canaan, the later Promised Land). Jacob is definitely scared to see his brother again. As I mentioned, he even tries to cut his possible losses ahead of time by dividing his wealth into two groups and sending them toward his home in two different directions. He really displays little faith! It just seems fitting that God shows up the night before his meeting with his cheated brother and roughs Jacob up a little and then gives him a constant pain in the hip – it was a literal pain in his hip because that joint was was dislocated in the struggle.

This view of mine resulted from reading this story as a complete outsider. Looking at the story line like a newspaper report of a mugging in Central Park, one misses the nuances, the underlying facts. At least for me, family is family, and regardless of how things appear to the outsider, most of us will fight to uphold our family name and honor. Those who really know us the best, who love us even when they may not like us very often, those who are willing to look past the slanted headlines and try to find the person they know and love within the article, are the only ones that can even begin to understand the whole picture. Pick up the newspaper sometime and try reading it as if the people in the stories are your parents, your siblings, or your children. Put a face to an unknown name and see if that alters your perspective of the situation. It can be saddening; embarrassing, even maddening...but it makes the report more than an updated headline. Do the same with the Bible and see if it changes your perspective of the people and the stories…they truly are a part of your family.

Think about the stories of Jacob, all that we are told about him. Now, think of your own life – as far back as you can remember. Have any of us ever exhibited the lack of character that Jacob possesses before he gets to the Jabbok – lying, cheating, running away from responsibility? Can anyone truly answer no? With this in mind, listen to my friend David’s version of the Jacob narratives and try to see if you can find glimpses of yourself.

We struggle for meaning, we wrestle with Love
We climb a ladder leaning on something up above
We beg for our blessings, we borrow our names,
We look to heaven praying to be other than the same.

In the dark and lonely hours, I have seen you face to face
The sun comes up and blinds me finds me limping from the place.

I have slept without dreaming, on a pillow of stone
Awakened by the feeling that I was not alone
And in all of my seeking through worry and woe
The voice of promise speaking, I will not let you go

Everything that I have carried, everything that I could hold
Every treasure I have buried is a weight upon my soul
But I will lay it all before you, everything I’ll ever know
I will put these arms around you and I will not let you go

We struggle for meaning, we wrestle with Love
We climb a ladder leaning on something up above

I have learned to see the story of Jacob as the story of every human’s life. We are less than perfect in our intentions. We have petty and immature flaws in our natures and doubts and fears in our hearts. We must cross the river to make that reconciliation with our past and to be changed into that which can fully serve God’s purposes. Some lives never make it to the Jabbok. They may be prosperous and wealthy in their chosen exile, but they are poor in spirit and in faith. They are estranged from their family, from their history as children of God. Religious events, even dreams, may cover their lives, but it is only a surface cover. They may grow strong and healthy in their physical bodies, but their hearts are stunted because you see it takes some pain to cause deep, lasting growth. Often that pain is facing up to whom we have been, whom we have hurt or who has hurt us and finally whom we have estranged ourselves from.

There are other lives that never seem to be able to leave the river. How appropriate is it that the name Jabbok in Hebrew literally means ‘emptying’. To meet God face to face, to become renewed and renamed, we must empty our lives, our hearts, and ourselves. The Promised Land, our once and future home, is just on the other side of the water and is waiting for our return. But the old saying is true…we can’t go back home, at least not as the same person that wandered away, felt driven away or fled in fear. As we fight and struggle with who we have been or who has hurt us, the pain cuts us deeper and deeper. Nonetheless, it is the voice of promise that clings to us whispering, “I will not let you go”. With persistence, we gain strength and with strength we gain confidence until we finally have the character to not only face our adversary, but to grab hold to the source of our struggle until it becomes a blessing.

The source of the struggle and the blessing are one in the same. God strengthens our character and increases our growth through the pain of our trials. God knows who and what we have been and only this Author of Creation can know who and what we are to become and what it will take to change our identities to match. Because God is Love, is it not Love that tests us, Love that binds us, Love that cuts us to the bone? And is it then not ultimately the acceptance of this unconditional Love with which we wrestle?

For me, these ideas found in this narrative are some of the best ways I can think of to explain what is meant by our Presbyterians doctrines of providence, election, and predestination. These are so often misunderstood and misrepresented by others and even us when reading or hearing them from the outside. God chose to bless Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. This is a seemingly foolish choice on God’s part. Look at their lives, their character, and their failings. But they were chosen not for their own individual good, but that they might in turn become a blessing to others, to the nations, to the whole world. We too have been chosen, but again not because of our goodness or deservedness, but so that even with our faults, warts and all, we can somehow be a blessing to others.

I believe God elects more than certain individuals or denominations – I believe God has elected humanity, not for special treatment, but for service to our neighbor and our world the results of which include receiving our own forms of blessings. We must remember, though, God sealed God’s promise of blessing through a covenant and a covenant takes two parties to fulfill. Some of us wander off or run away only hearing the promise echo in our ears. Some follow the voice, but can’t bear the pain of frigid, emptying water. Finally, some become strong enough to grasp the promise as they wrestle with that foolish Love, face to face, and ultimately return to their Father’s home a limping, but blessed child of God.

When we learn to wrestle with Love, with God, is this a once and for all time fight? No. Jacob’s life, or rather Israel’s life, did not become free of conflict. There was no time for rest or relaxing. The difference I believe is when we have learned to wrestle with Love, with God; we gain the strength and perseverance to wrestle with all of life. This allows us to in turn use our blessings to bless others. We become veteran fighters in this life with the confidence that God is clinging to us as tightly as we are clinging to God.

Amen.