Sermon for Sunday August 10th Forgiveness, by Jim

Genesis 45:1-15

Forgiveness

There are many times in our lives when things happen to us that we just do not understand. Think back to a time in your life where someone wronged you. How did it feel? How did you react? Some of these events are especially painful if it is a family member or a close friend that hurts us. The big question for us is where is God in these situations and what does God expect from us.

When I was a youth director in Florida I had a good friend named David. David was the youth director at another Presbyterian church in Leesburg. At that time we had a group of youth directors that met every Thursday for a time of prayer for each other, and our programs. There were four of us three Presbyterians and one Methodist. We met on Thursday afternoons for an hour or two after our prayer time we often shared ideas and told each other about upcoming events. This was a place where I felt safe and felt that I could share openly.

At Christmas time every year we would have a lock in for our Sr. High youth. Now because of our weekly meetings my friend David knew about our lock in. Around 12:30 we were having our praise and worship time. Jeff was playing the guitar and we were moving into the slower more worshipful songs preparing for the devotion. Out of nowhere comes this blast from an air horn. Everyone jumps out of their seats. I told Jeff to keep playing while I went outside to see what was happening. Our youth room was a basement area with a set of concrete stairs that led up into the parking lot. I opened the door and went out and as soon as I opened the door I was pelted with water balloons, silly string, and shaving cream. I ran up the stairs to catch my friend and slipped in the water and landed flat on my back. My youth were all shocked to see their youth director lying on the floor in a puddle of water covered in silly string and shaving cream. Needless to say not only was I a mess and embarrassed but I was angry, angry that our worship time had been so rudely interrupted and angry that I was flat on my back laying in a puddle. I went to my office and changed clothes (a smart youth director always has a change of clothes available) and returned to the lock in. The atmosphere of our worship time was ruined and so was my attitude.

After the devotional time we began plotting our revenge. I knew that they were having a lock in the next weekend and the ideas flew. Don’t ever make a group of high school students mad. I soon realized that by plotting revenge I was not teaching these young people what God would want me to and I remembered that David was my friend and he had probably pulled this prank out of fun. He had no idea of what he was interrupting. So when he had a lock in with his youth the next weekend at 12:30 we delivered cokes and snacks. Now the best part of this was that David confided in me later that this really made him feel guilty.

If anybody ever had a right to hold a grudge--it was probably Joseph!
When we read Genesis we find a family story that rivals the soap operas. Abraham preferred Isaac over Ishmael. Isaac preferred Esau over his brother Jacob. Jacob preferred Joseph over his other sons. The brothers hated Joseph so much that they conspired to kill him. The oldest brother, Reuben prevented them killing Joseph. The brothers threw Joseph in a pit and then sold him to Midianite traders as a slave. To cover their sin, they made up a story about Joseph's death to tell their father. Joseph was 17. In spite of the bitter loss of status and family, Joseph was an able and loyal servant to Potiphar. Then Potiphar's wife unjustly accuses Joseph and he is thrown into an Egyptian prison. Twice Joseph has lost everything. Surely he has a right to be bitter. Even in prison he rises to become a trusted servant to the captain of the guard. At 30 he is called from prison because a Cup Bearer to Pharaoh remembers that Joseph could interpret dreams. Joseph shows great wisdom to Pharaoh.

So Pharaoh puts Joseph in charge of the project to prepare for the famines that threaten the land. Pharaoh provides Joseph with a home, a wife and meaningful work. We do get a glimpse of Joseph's spiritual struggle to overcome the hard blows and bitter experiences in his life in the names he chooses for his sons. One son is Manasseh whose name means Making to forget, Joseph praises God for helping him to forget all his hardship and his father's house. The second son is Ephraim whose name means to be fruitful for God made Joseph fruitful in the land of his misfortune. Joseph recognizes that God is sovereign even in Egypt. Joseph credits God with his good fortune and for the strength to overcome the pain.

The famine Joseph predicted came. Joseph sells grain to all who come. One day he is startled to see his brothers. His anger rushes up and catches him off guard. His bitterness shows when he treats his brothers as strangers and spies. He knows their story yet he demands information from them. Was he looking for vindication? Was he looking to see if they had changed or regretted what they had done to him? Bitterness overcomes good sense and he orders them imprisoned. Three days they sat and worried, would this angry Egyptian kill them or keep them in prison? Old guilt over selling Joseph came back to haunt them. When Joseph heard them discuss their sin against him the old claims of love and loyalty, of family soften his heart. Joseph releases them but he demands a test. Are these men worthy of his trust? Dare he restore the relationships that they destroyed? Would they hurt him again? He keeps one brother and sends the others home with grain and silver they had brought to Egypt. "Bring back your youngest brother, bring Benjamin here to Egypt to show your good faith." Joseph must decide what to do with his family.

Joseph finally realizes that God has used the tragic events in his life to save his entire family from a long famine. Joseph had to look at his family from God's point of view. What his brothers did was wrong, what his brothers did hurt Joseph and his father Jacob. Even so Joseph forgave his brothers and provided a home for them in Egypt where God had made him prosperous. This was made possible on the brothers’ part by their genuine repentance, regretting their sin with regard to Joseph, and reversing their actions when a similar situation was presented with regard to Benjamin. But on Joseph’s part, reconciliation was achieved through his sincere and total forgiveness of his brothers for the evil they had committed against him.

One of the hardest things you or I will ever do is to truly forgive someone. Forgiveness is simply making a new start. "The miracle of forgiving is the creation of a new beginning. It does not always take away the hurt. It does not deny the past injury. It merely refuses to let them stand in the way of a new start" (Lewis B. Smedes).

Let me tell what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not forgetting. Do you suppose Joseph could forget what had been done to him? Instead of forgetting, he reminds them! "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good." If we can forget a hurt or pain, it does not call for forgiveness.

Forgiveness does not excuse a wrong. Sometimes we mistake forgiveness for excusing. Some people feel that to forgive is to say they’re not responsible. And that to forgive is to detract from wrong-ness of act. Forgiveness is just the opposite of excusing! We excuse folks when we know they are not to blame: When a waiter trips and spills something on our table, or when a blind person knocks over an antique vase. We forgive only when we can hold people responsible: like when a husband or wife cheats on us, or a friend who talks behind our back or a parent who abused us when we were a child.

Someone has put it this way: "Forgiving is tough. Excusing is easy. What a mistake it is to confuse forgiving with being mushy, soft, gutless, and oh so understanding. Before we forgive, we stiffen our spine and we hold a person accountable. And only then, in tough-minded judgment, can we do the outrageously impossible thing: we can forgive" (Smedes, Forgive & Forget, p. 44).

Forgiveness doesn’t mean things go back to the way they were before. It’s nice when they can but that’s not always possible. We don’t let a forgiven embezzler become the church treasurer. We don’t let a forgiven child molester run a Day Care center. A friend who has betrayed you can be forgiven but at the same time you might not be able to count them as a friend anymore. It is idealistic to say that forgiveness means things can go back to the way they were before; sometimes they can but sometimes they can’t. But forgiveness can still take place!

Joseph is a model of forgiveness. Take your time. If it takes you a while to forgive, that’s o.k. I’m sure Joseph wasn’t ready to forgive his brothers while he was in the pit or in the prison! When you forgive be sincere. Some people use forgiveness as a means of justifying themselves. Some people use forgiveness as a means of holding power over another. Take the initiative and talk specifically about the problem. Don’t automatically assume other person knows what you’re talking about. Be specific about what it is that you’re forgiving. Talk about how things are going to be from now on. Express your feelings. Don’t just tell the person that you’ve forgiven them show them.

Forgiveness is not forgetting it is not excusing nor does it a guarantee a return to way things were. It is a new start! Be aware though that not every case of forgiveness will turn out as good as Joseph and his brothers, but when God asks us to forgive, he’s not asking the impossible. I've looked for loopholes. I've longed to find a reason not to forgive those who hurt me. But those reasons aren't there. In the Lord's prayer we pray, "Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” My hope for today is that when we pray those words we will feel the impact of what we are praying, and give serious thought to forgiving others. Amen